My first article introduced my own R3 (RECOGNIZE, RESPOND & RESOLVE) cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) approach. In the last issue, I stressed the importance of learning proven ways to clearly identify (RECOGNIZE) individual problematic issues (step 1 in a 3-step process) essential to begin a stress-management strategy. I shared a sample exercise from my newest book, “The Resilience Formula – Strategic Tools for Peak Performance.” In Step 2 I’ll highlight examples of simple techniques that can be easily learned and even taught to others.
But first, it’s necessary to understand a few empirical facts. Studies worldwide have determined that 90% – 95% of what people worry about on any given day never materializes! Moreover, the problems are usually never as bad as can be imagined, and never as good in the way of outcomes. They’re more often somewhere in the middle. So, what’s the takeaway? People in general waste too much time worrying about potential problems that have a 95% chance of never occurring! Try this test. Write down all the things that are currently worrying you, keep a daily diary, and you’ll see what I mean. You might say, “Okay, I’m willing to agree with the 95% theory. But what do I do to solve a real problem in the 5% – 10% range?” That’s a good question.
In his best-selling book The Power of Now, Canadian Eckhart Tolle says that if any problem truly presents itself, we always have 3 choices: 1. Take immediate action to eliminate it. If we can’t eliminate a problem, move to step 2, which is take action to minimize it. But if we also cannot immediately minimize a problem, then go to step 3 which is set it free! If you don’t set it free, your blood pressure will skyrocket, you’ll burn untold amounts of negative energy, and none of that will have any impact on your problem – only your health, stress level and peace of mind.
The predictable comeback I get from saying that is “It’s easier said than done!” And again, they’re right. Remember, Resilience training is both an art and a science requiring an acquired skill set that only comes from repetition and practice – like learning to play a piano. It’s hard at first, but with time and practice, it can be learned and the desired outcome from that (pleasure/accomplishment) is realized.
In my book, I share many psychological techniques to identify and Respond to uncontrollable problems, my favourite being Behavioural Triggers (BT). You know what a BT is, even if you think you don’t. Think back to your childhood. Did your father or mother ever hold up 3-fingers and say: “You have until the count of 3.” What took place? You instantly stopped misbehaving, evaluated your actions, and consciously changed your behaviour to avoid punishment. So powerful was the 3-finger gesture that your parents didn’t even have to utter a word.
As an adult, when faced with the inability to fix a problem, I use 3 BTs in a row to set it free. 1. “It is what it is!” reminding me that I cannot control it. 2. “I care, but not that much!” In other words, I do care, but never enough to waste time and energy on something I can’t change, thereby making myself miserable. Both the above are psychological techniques to separate myself from the problem. Next, I ask myself 3. “Now what?!” Now what is a 3-finger reminder to refocus on the things that I can change – my goals, my job, my family, my health. Feel free to establish your own triggers. Then, practice until you no longer need to think about them. They’ll eventually become part of your stress-management system.
In my next and final article, I’ll shed light on the final R in my R3 Resilience training strategy – RESOLVE. I welcome your input.
Paul Shearstone MACP, NLP, CCP is a Speaker, Best-Selling Author, Certified Coach, Neuro-Linguistic-Programing (NLP) Therapist and Psychotherapeutic Counselor. His newest book, The Resilience Formula: Strategic Tools for Peak Performance, is available at Amazon.ca and Chapters Indigo. Please visit www.paulshearstone.com or e-mail paul@paulshearstone.com
I am extremely inspired with your writing talents and alsowell as with the layout for your blog. Is this a paid subject matter or did you customize it yourself? Either way stay up the nice quality writing, it’s rare to peer a nice blog like this one nowadays..
Hola! I’ve been following your web site for a long time now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from Huffman Tx! Just wanted to mention keep up the great job!
Hey there! Do you know if they make any plugins to protect against hackers? I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked hard on. Any recommendations?
I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good. I don’t know who you are but definitely you are going to a famous blogger if you are not already 😉 Cheers!
Currently it seems like BlogEngine is the top blogging platform out there right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you’re using on your blog?
Hi there, I found your web site via Google whilst searching for a comparable matter, your site got here up, it seems to be good. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
An impressive share! I have just forwarded this onto a friend who was doing a little research on this. And he in fact bought me lunch simply because I found it for him… lol. So let me reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending the time to discuss this issue here on your website.
Great article! This is the type of information that are supposed to be shared around the internet. Disgrace on the seek engines for not positioning this submit upper! Come on over and discuss with my site . Thank you =)
Hi there! I know this is somewhat off-topic but I had to ask. Does building a well-established blog like yours take a lot of work? I’m completely new to operating a blog but I do write in my diary daily. I’d like to start a blog so I will be able to share my own experience and thoughts online. Please let me know if you have any ideas or tips for new aspiring bloggers. Appreciate it!
I really love your site.. Very nice colors & theme. Did you develop this website yourself? Please reply back as I’m hoping to create my own blog and would like to learn where you got this from or what the theme is called. Cheers!
It’s really a nice and helpful piece of information. I’m glad that you shared this helpful info with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thank you for sharing.
obviously like your website however you need to test the spelling on quite a few of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling problems and I find it very bothersome to tell the truth then again I will surely come back again.
Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is a very well written article. I will be sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of your useful information. Thanks for the post. I will definitely comeback.
I must thank you for the efforts you have put in writing this blog. I am hoping to view the same high-grade blog posts from you in the future as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has motivated me to get my own website now 😉
When someone writes an article he/she keeps the plan of a user in his/her mind that how a user can understand it. Thus that’s why this article is perfect. Thanks!
Hi there friends, how is all, and what you desire to say concerning this piece of writing, in my view its truly awesome designed for me.
It’s really a nice and helpful piece of information. I’m satisfied that you simply shared this helpful info with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.
Great info. Lucky me I discovered your site by accident (stumbleupon). I have saved it for later!
Thank you very much for sharing, I learned a lot from your article. Very cool. Thanks. <a href="[Link deleted]
exact allergy pills <a href="[Link deleted]side effects best allergy medicine without antihistamine
buy strongest sleeping pills <a href="[Link deleted]3mg uk
cost prednisone 5mg <a href="[Link deleted]10mg canada
Уникальная возможность выигрыша ждет вас в Lucky Jet краш-игре от 1win! Проверьте свою интуицию прямо сейчас.
anti acid medication prescription <a href="[Link deleted]roxithromycin for sale
Now I am going away to do my breakfast, later than having my breakfast coming again to read additional news.
dermatologist recommended acne medication <a href="[Link deleted]cleocin 300mg dermatologist recommended acne products
medicine for severe stomach pain <a href="[Link deleted]href="[Link deleted]drug
accutane brand <a href="[Link deleted]accutane accutane 40mg usa
strongest sleeping pills for adults <a href="[Link deleted]online buy
amoxil 1000mg cost <a href="[Link deleted]amoxicillin for sale order amoxil 1000mg sale
order zithromax 500mg pills <a href="[Link deleted]generic zithromax 250mg purchase zithromax online cheap
buy neurontin 100mg sale <a href="[Link deleted]neurontin
azithromycin brand <a href="[Link deleted]azithromycin 500mg pills azithromycin 500mg oral
furosemide usa <a href="[Link deleted]100mg cost
prednisolone 20mg without prescription <a href="[Link deleted]40mg sale order omnacortil 40mg online cheap
buy deltasone generic <a href="[Link deleted]20mg pill
cost amoxil 250mg <a href="[Link deleted]amoxil 1000mg amoxicillin 250mg pill
order generic doxycycline 200mg <a href="[Link deleted]vibra-tabs pill
buy albuterol medication <a href="[Link deleted]over the counter asthma ventolin 2mg cost
buy amoxiclav <a href="[Link deleted]augmentin without a prescription
generic levoxyl <a href="[Link deleted]over the counter synthroid for sale
levitra 10mg canada <a href="[Link deleted]generic levitra 10mg
It is appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy. I have read this post and if I could I wish to suggest you few interesting things or advice. Perhaps you could write next articles referring to this article. I wish to read more things about it!
where can i buy clomid <a href="[Link deleted]clomiphene without prescription oral clomid 50mg
Greate pieces. Keep writing such kind of information on your page. Im really impressed by your site.
buy tizanidine 2mg sale <a href="[Link deleted]zanaflex cheap tizanidine generic
isotretinoin 10mg drug <a href="[Link deleted]generic accutane 10mg isotretinoin 10mg uk
buy amoxicillin sale <a href="[Link deleted]amoxil 500mg pills buy amoxicillin 1000mg online
augmentin order online <a href="[Link deleted]amoxiclav without prescription order augmentin 375mg online cheap
Hi there, after reading this remarkable post i am too cheerful to share my experience here with mates.
generic prednisolone 40mg <a href="[Link deleted]20mg brand prednisolone 40mg for sale
order neurontin 100mg generic <a href="[Link deleted]neurontin 800mg pills neurontin 100mg sale
buy furosemide pills for sale <a href="[Link deleted]furosemide generic buy furosemide 40mg generic
We are a gaggle of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community. Your web site provided us with useful information to work on. You have performed an impressive activity and our whole community will probably be grateful to you.
acticlate price <a href="[Link deleted]doxycycline 100mg online cheap order doxycycline 100mg generic
black jack <a href="[Link deleted]casino games for cash casino online games for real money
levitra 10mg sale <a href="[Link deleted]generic vardenafil vardenafil 20mg canada
buy pregabalin generic <a href="[Link deleted]150mg without prescription buy lyrica 150mg pills
buy hydroxychloroquine 200mg <a href="[Link deleted]over the counter hydroxychloroquine pills
order triamcinolone without prescription <a href="[Link deleted]triamcinolone 4mg sale order triamcinolone 4mg generic
order cenforce 100mg sale <a href="[Link deleted]cenforce 100mg online buy cenforce 100mg sale
claritin 10mg without prescription <a href="[Link deleted]to buy loratadine without a prescription loratadine brand
aralen canada <a href="[Link deleted]sale buy generic chloroquine
buy generic glycomet 500mg <a href="[Link deleted]glucophage 500mg online metformin canada
You’re so cool! I don’t suppose I have read something like this before. So great to find somebody with some unique thoughts on this issue. Really.. thank you for starting this up. This website is something that is needed on the web, someone with a little originality!
acyclovir online buy <a href="[Link deleted]pill buy allopurinol cheap
Great info. Lucky me I found your site by accident (stumbleupon). I have book-marked it for later!
purchase zestril for sale purchase lisinopril generic prinivil us
motilium oral <a href="[Link deleted]500mg drug buy tetracycline no prescription
buy generic lopressor <a href="[Link deleted]metoprolol 100mg for sale lopressor us
ketorolac us <a href="[Link deleted]0.5mg over the counter colcrys 0.5mg without prescription
order atenolol 50mg pill <a href="[Link deleted]50mg pills how to get tenormin without a prescription
buy medrol canada <a href="[Link deleted]pills canada depo-medrol medicine
purchase essays <a href="[Link deleted]custom essays academic writing article
order generic methotrexate 2.5mg <a href="[Link deleted]2.5mg generic medex tablet