Habits we have formed over the years can be time wasting,
unhealthy, obnoxious, boring or outright dangerous. They can limit our
effectiveness, stunt our personal growth, and dissipate our energy. They can
cut years from our lives. Antagonize friends. Alienate loved ones.
Or they can be constructive, positive, healthy, and
desirable. They can save time. Relieve tension. Increase our effectiveness.
It all depends on the habit. And I define a habit as
something we do automatically with little, if any, forethought. Something
devoid of conscious choice. It could be smoking, drinking, excessive eating,
chewing gum, twisting paperclips as we listen, saying “you know” every few
words, drinking coffee every half hour.
Or it could be organizing your clothes before you go to bed,
checking the doors to see if they’re locked, jogging before breakfast, eating
apples for lunch, reviewing personal goals every morning, smiling at everyone
you meet, reading in bed every night, showering before breakfast.
Whether it’s a good habit or a bad habit depends on its
effects on your life. If it helps you to achieve your goals. Brings you
happiness, health, and prosperity. Adds meaning to your life. Makes you more
effective. Then it’s probably a good habit. But if all it does is impede your
effectiveness, waste your time, alienate your family and friends or decrease
your life expectancy, it’s very likely a bad habit.
Before you attempt to break any bad habits, you must be
convinced that you want to. The benefits must be obvious. The motivators must
be there. Otherwise you will likely fail in your efforts.
It’s always rewarding to feel that you are in control of
your own life. That might be motivation enough. If so, start breaking some of
those patterns of living that sap you of any feeling of excitement and
spontaneity. Stop spending every Thanksgiving Day at Mother’s. Don’t go away
with the same couple every Labor Day weekend. Don’t order pizza every Tuesday
night. Don’t return to the same Florida resort every year. Stop eating in the
same restaurants all the time. Make a conscious choice each time. Don’t be
bound by the force of habit.
Some specific habits, such as smoking, drinking, overeating,
may be more difficult to break. Greater motivation is required to initiate and
maintain the greater effort that is necessary. Get a handle on the harmful
effects of the habit. If you’re convinced that smoking will reduce your life
expectancy by 16.4 years or that lack of exercise will double the risk of a
heart attack, you may have the kind of incentive you need.
Once you feel motivated to proceed, be sure to set realistic
goals. Losing 20 lbs. in one week, for instance, is not a realistic goal. It’s
a long-term goal, say three to six months. Break it down into monthly and
weekly goals. Even daily goals are advisable for some habits. Goals produce
deadlines. Deadlines produce a certain amount of stress. But they also produce
results. That’s why we’re so effective at work.
Now, practice self-discipline. Train yourself to accomplish
those daily and weekly goals you set for yourself. Don’t let yourself slip
once. The first slip spells disaster. For it becomes progressively easier to
slip the second time, and the third — until you’re back in your old ways
again. If your daily objective is to jog for 20 minutes every morning, then jog
for 20 minutes every morning. Regardless of whether it’s cold and rainy or
whether you don’t feel that great. Always keep the long-term rewards in mind.
Don’t succumb to the immediate rewards — such as the comfort of a warm bed. In
time you will have formed a habit – a good habit. And good habits are as hard
to break as bad ones.
The same self-discipline is needed in breaking a habit. If
you want to stop smoking or drinking, don’t take that first cigarette or first
drink. If you do, it’s too easy to take the second and third.
As an aid to self-discipline, declare your intentions to
family and friends. Once you commit yourself publicly, it will be more
difficult — and embarrassing — to back out. Enlist a partner if possible. Two
or more people trying to break or form the same habit provides reinforcement
for each other. And there’ll be a greater chance of making it fun. It’s so much
easier to form a new habit if it’s enjoyable. Be prepared to reward yourself if
you achieve your goal. That delayed vacation. New wardrobe. Whatever is meaningful
to you.
And remember, there’s no such thing as “can’t”. If you want
to do something badly enough, you can do it. If you don’t believe me, how do
you think you would react if someone put a gun to your head and threatened to
blow your brains out unless you kicked the habit. You’d probably kick it.
And some habits are as deadly as a gun at your head.
Harold Taylor Time Consultants Inc.1-800-361-8463harold@taylorintime.com